Mario, The Legend Monday, July 27, 2009 : 11:00 PM PST By: Chris

It's commonly accepted (and certainly many comics have been based on the concept) that, taken literally, Mario's actions are some of the most horrible in all fiction. However, I've yet to see this question addressed: how does a man make contact with a green mushroom and gain the ability to cheat death? Nintendo canon doesn't state whether Mario uses dark, arcane magic to eat the life energy of basidiomycetes, so we're forced to assume he does.